Elderhood

I used to be big

I used to go to my office

every day

from 9 to 5

where I met with frightened nervous angry hurt and broken people

and held the strings

while they put themselves back together

I would come home

exhausted and energized

empty and refilled

my own hope reshined

my own world become pregnant

now decades later

my life has become so little

today the day lies bare

blank and open

before me

pillows neat on the couch

bed made

breakfast dishes drying in the rack

crossword puzzle

begun on the hassock

what I would like to do

this old body thwarts

the little I am able to do

trembles on its narrow ridge

over the vacuum of time

the emptiness of mere existence

stretches into foggy tomorrows

a stabbing pain

without locus

I am becoming frightened nervous angry hurt and broken

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